O le tulafono e lima (The 5th Commandment) ...

Sad news last night as I spoke with my parents and they told me of the passing of another elder in our Community. As I spoke with them about the truth of our mortality and encouraged them to look after themselves, inviting them to be healthier my father said something interesting. He said with all seriousness that he would live to see his 80’s because he had been obedient to his parents and had been a good son.  

When Christianity finally arrived in Samoa, the Samoan’s embraced it whole -heartedly. So much so, that the Samoan coat of arms says “ Faavae i le Atua Samoa” “Samoa is founded on God” Or “Our Foundation is God.”

In the evenings, visitors to Samoa are pleasantly surprised when passing by villages to hear the sweet melodies that flow from house to house as families wind down and give praises to God and thanks for the days blessings and further water seeds of faith planted from birth.

The old adage that children are seen but not heard is true in Samoa. They learn from obeying and serving parents and family. In Exodus there is a promise that accompanies the 5^th Commandment to “honour thy mother and thy father that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee…” it is this promise that my father referred to. Supporting his claims by recalling his life long service to his parents, his siblings and family.

I admire the faith of this generation. I call them the golden generation. Made gold by the sun on their backs as they tilled the earth to provide for their families whilst growing up in Samoa and then once abroad expected to provide wealth (gold) and relief for their parents and families back home whilst they themselves suffered and sacrificed time, energy, wealth and sometimes the riches of their own immediate families … but always with hearts of gold. Lovingly and happily.  

I have an uncle – who we affectionately call Uncle Sam. He is a part of this golden generation. Whilst here he met and married the love of his life. A Samoan girl who loved him too. They had two children. He continued to provide and support his family in Samoa – after all that is what he came here to do. But one can only imagine the plight of his wife, now a mother of two young children, wanting the best for them and perhaps perceiving that whilst he was giving to his family in Samoa it was taking something away from their little family.  Thoughts give way to actions, and many words mistaken or perhaps understood, leading to heartbreak and tears and eventually separation and imminent divorce.

He stayed single after that. Never marrying or pursuing any serious romantic endeavours, I guess he thought it would be easier that way to fulfil his purpose. My heart hurts for him. Of course he would have wanted love in his life. It’s a basic human need and want. But his choice like my Dad’s was made when they agreed to obey their parents and accept the call to serve their families miles away from home.

I am so grateful that my dedicated and committed father had a twice as dedicated and committed wife. Dedicated and committed to her children, her family and the success… or more the survival of it.

Back to these golden oldies, some – like my Dad,  continue some 20-30 years after leaving their homes to support, provide and promote the love and support of home – passing on the baton to their children or helping to bring the next generation from Samoa to continue the legacy.  My Dad has chosen to do both (Plans A and B – I suppose failure is not an option) instilling in us a sense of responsibility to our family back home and also bringing his niece here so she can do for her parents what he has done for his.

Many in the world would perhaps consider this blind faith. But there is a strength and a purpose in believing. I admire it in my father and in those of his generation who have also come for this purpose… and fully expect that he will see the promise of the 5^th commandment come to pass.

“Le fanau e, ia manatua…

Le tulafono e lima i o ta matua.

O le mea silisili lea ma le taua,

e faa leva leva ai lou soifua…..”